Ken,Emosillyboy

2010-08-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

Special post*

This post, perhaps will be my very last post!

Sorry readers...

maybe after you read this, the Ken you know may have gone!

Many people thinks that keeping somethings or stuffs in them,

no one will knows...

but there's a chinese speaking:

" Paper cant hold the fire"

It's definitly true!

Dont think that one person is stupid..

Dont assume...

Dont cry over a spilled milk...

Dont give up something good for something bad...

Dont decide without considering...

Only people that know me long and well, will know who am i...

Thanks to God!

For letting me have Yang, Hong, Pupu as my best brothers!

We've been through ups and downs!

Nothing gonna break us up!

I love you, Brothers!

All the best for your studies!

Not forgetting sister...

Christine...

We've known each other for three years...

thank you alot!

You are indeed my best sister!

I like how playful you are,

i like how humorous you can be,

i like how you show your anger,

i like it when you were play with me,

i like how you treat my jokes...

Thanks!!!

My animals!

DaDa, the pig

and

Bell, the cat

...

Thank you!!!

Whenever i'm down...

without me saying it...

you all knew it yourself...

and will comeby to comfort me and make me happy...

Hope that our friendship would last till the day i die!

You're my best friends!

Always reminding me to studying and stay happy!

WoW!!

I feel so fortunate!

Thanks! Loves!

It's easy to gain someone's trust,

but it's difficult to gain it back when you lose it...

think twice before making a choice...

Even it's just a friend or a stranger...

no one will wants to see an innocent person,

fall into a deep well, crying in there, shouting for help,

and yet no one answer her/him!

I'm leaving...

because of many reasons...

uncountable...

but i think there's no one whom will care...

dont like me, dont love me...

HATE me!

I'm a total jerk and fool!

This year wasn't a good year for me...

many sad things have happen!

And also many things pissed me off..

but i tolerated.. as usual...

Just eight month...

a strong and tolerant guy like me...

drop tears for the very fourth time...

no more, really no more...

It will all be ended here...

only miracles will bring me back!

I will smile, for sure!

What i've promise, will be broken, because of you!

Goodbye!!!

-heartbreak-

I still trust my eyes and senses!

no doubts..

Believe in God!

tagbox will still be active!

Tag after view, if not i fine you!

( $500 )

hahas!!!

My phone is still alive too..

84226547~ feel free to call me at any time..

.........................................................................................

2010-07-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

Today it's the 1st of August...

Time indeed flew past fast...

And this also means that, i have not much time left...

[]

It was supposed to be a fine day, that day...

but after all, it doesn't seems to look fine...

Thanks for telling me that...

letting me know what's happening around...

I wanted to ask you a question:

" Do you have feelings for me?"

Ans:_____

If i have the courage to ask you this question, i would...

but i dont dare...

You told me, your heart broke...

you were sad after you get to know it...

why, why do your heart broke?

i'm just like a brother of yours...

you dont need to get heart broken,

but why do you get sad?

i'm puzzled...

i just want to know how you feel?

There's someone out there trying to ruin our friendship..

dont you feel anything?

do you still think, you still want to be friend with that person..?

you told me nothing was wrong... but i'm sure there must be...

I'm disappointed...

Yes, we talk alot that night..

And i'm thankful to you that you are honest to me.

I may not be your cup of tea but i'm willing to wait for you...

You may not treat me as someone who is important to you...

but at least i'm someone who care for you...

someone who trust you..

If that person cheated you once...

will you give him another chance..

by his action, you are able to tell how a person is he like...

but yet you still cant get over him...

asking you to forget, it's impossible, i kow..

but dont ever hurt yourself...

You always said, there will be no future for us...

but, how do you know?

Not a chance was given to me to prove or show it...?

As i walk home that day, honestly speaking...

i was very sad...

i felt i'm at a loss of wat to do...

my mind kept thinking of what you told me...

yes, i agree that i was abit angry...

i dont know, i dont know, i dont know!!!!

I seriously like you!

And i will wait for you!

that all i can say...

[]

Am i somebody that is important to you?

Think think think...

2010-07-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

[]

Who am i?

[]

I'm maybe a lonely person...

i do things alone...

not that i like to be alone, but just that i dont seems to exits in people's life...

an unimportant person to anybody...

I'm maybe a shy person...

i dont really like to talk, and like to think alot....

so called an emo....

letting my imaginations run wild when i'm bored, sad or alone...

I'm maybe a bad guy...

who smoke, fight, drink and gamble last time...

and it's hard for my new friends to believe that i've change...

But, it's really up to them whether they believe me or not...

trust is very important in a friendship or relationship...

I'm maybe a patience guy...

I've tolerated for 2 years plus...

tolerating every single thing...

i know it's not good, but what can i do?

i dont know how to express out my feelings to anyone...

saying nvm, it's ok, closing one eye, and just walk off...

i'm just escaping and pushing everything down my heart...

I hate quarreling...

another reason why i dont get angry...

though it hurts but..

nvm...

[]

I may be unsure of many things...

but,

There is one thing i know, for sure!

That is my feelings for you!

I know i can say i like you as many times as i could...

but,

do you like me?

Ans:______

do you trust me?

Ans:______

I dont say things that i cant do it...

a promise is a pormise!

I can wait for you my entire life!

but...

you think i couldn't right?

Ans:_____

you take it as i'm joking right?

Ans:_____

No ones know what a person is thinking...

but everyone knows what they want,

and will try hard to get it!

[]

Everyday, i pray to God.

I ask him...:

"Dear god, Would you lend me a hand?"

I only ask him this..

there was no response...

Just a chance from you"

[]

"It takes three second to say, I love you!

Three hours to explain it,

and a life time to prove it!"

[]

Health:

Not good...

if one day, i'm gone...

i wonder who will miss me and cry...

o,o?

[]

Smiles reader(:

2010-07-23T02:44:00.000-07:00

Mood-less day...

[]

I want to give you( a unique person) five gifts:

First, the gift of listening.

Being your good listening ear...

sitting quietly by your side, and no complaining...

No interrupting, and just listen to you.

Second, the gift of affection.

Being the first or only person to comfort you when you are down.

Being generous with the appropriate hugs, kisses, and pats on the back

Being the only one that care for you

Third, the gift of laughter.

Sharing funny stories and jokes with you all the time.

And after that i would tell you:

"I love to laugh with you!"

Seeing you smile, makes me happy.

Fourth, the gift of a written note.

Expressing in a brief of how important you are to me!

How do i feel about you?

-You are cheerful, friendly, adorable, superb, smart....

Why i needed you in my life?

-You make me smile all the time, and without you, i melt, die...

What can be done to make our friendship better?

-Stay in contact, and maintain the good friendship we have now

Who are you to me?

-I treat you as a close friend, more likely to be said, my sister!

When will our friendship ends?

-Never. Even if i dead, you are still my closest friend, you are irreplaceable.

Where will i be?

-Always by your side, like a guardian angel, protecting to you for any harm.

Fifth, the gift of a compliment.

Just by sincerely saying:

"Well done"

"You look great today"

"You are special"

...

just few words to make someone smile.

[]

Every night i pray to God,

I demand nothing but just for him to lend me a hand.

I may say i know which path i'm taking..

i maybe full of obstacles and dangeruos...

but still i gave it a try..

as i always say,

if you never try, you will never know the outcome...

dont predict the outcome, it may somehow lead you to the wrong way.

but when you try, be remind that, you have to face the outcome no matter what it is.

Everyone have the opportunities to make decisions.

Think carefully, choose correctly, and be prepare to accept the outcome.

[]

Wish that all my friends,

would live their life happily.(:

[]

byebye~tired-.-

2010-07-22T01:06:00.000-07:00

Things ain't going smoothly nowsaday....

[]

Studies:

I hate school!!!

Serious hate it!

What for i go to school, when i can study at home?

Wake up early in the morning,

go to school..

done all my homework... hand in to teacher and went to sleep...

-.-"

math lessons..

doing different question from the class...

ask teacher...

teacher call me to try out others first...

while she figue out the solution...

ice cream....>,<"

Physic:

everyone like bullying the teacher...

ask teacher tys question, he attend to other students instead...

then what for i do tys???

Chem:

Miss alot of lessons le...

got no idea ow to do the calculation of molar mass...

enjoyed her lesson but sorry, just dont like going to school....

Eng:

Compo, one after another....

every week doing compo and compre...

sick and tired of it le...

sleep in class, got nag....-.-"

Sorry teacher... not i dont want to listen...

is i've got what you mean!

haiis....

SS:

started revision for other subject expect social studies...

dont know how to revise on that...

nvm...

just keep reading the notes maybe will help....

Geo:

Sick and tired of doing Vegetation le la!

but still i need to do it...

Questions after question...

writing the same answer.... =.="

cannot take it anymore....

DnT:

A week more and i would have to submit the coursework...

but still i'm only 3/4 finish...

how?how?how?

I'm aiming an A2, but can i get it?

tsk..

School maybe a fun place for many people..

but exclude me...

[]

Work:

It's been 2months le...

i nvr work for 2months le....

I feel like going to work...

but the amount of stress and homework is stopping me...

i can find so much fun while working..

really wish i could go back and work...

One reason that i didn't work is the limited time i have...

the other reason is because i told "you" that i will stop working...

i will concentrate on my studies... and also at the same time...

waiting in front of the computer for you to come online...

[]

Love:

I know 'you' are unable to come online tat often...

but still i choose to wait for you...

i mean my words...

i know you dont know about this...

or most probably you may think that i'm just joking with you....

Friendly, cheerful is your character!

I am accepting who you are!

Many people tell me not to fall too deep...

but i ignore!

why?

i trust you!

i believe my eyes and what my senses tells me!

Seeing you happy, i'm happy either!

when you are sad, i can tell....

but when i'm sad, can you tell?

I really care for you, and you really am an important person in my life!

you've have made an impact!

But do you feel the same as me?

I know that i maybe loving you one-sided!

this my decision!

I will wait for you, and will always like you!

There are times when i tried to ignore you...

i admit!

but whenever..

i'm that close to the door, was about to open it...

you pulled me back!!!

I felt happy... but i also felt heartbreaking?

why is this so

can oyu tell me?

if i have the courage to ask you, i would...

but sadly i dont have...);

I've tired!

i gave myself a chance......

it's now up to you,

whether you want to give me a chance, and also yourself a chance?

o,o

[]

Now what i want is...

You to stay cheerful!

Be healthy!

Concentrate on your studies!

And let nature takes its course!

Continue to chat with you and say 'hi' to you!

~~~~

T,T

2010-07-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

Hi, my blog viewers....

It's been quite sometime since i last post....

many things to say...

but dont know where to start.

Saw the previous post?

I will continue the story some other day...

[]

My studies were going smoothly....

I study constantly each day...

but i'm still afraid of going school...

no friends in school...

no teacher pay attention to me....

everyday sleep in class...

[]

Is this my life?

I hate my love life..

it sucks...

Why do other people can have a long lasting, sweet and romantic relationship....?

but i can't....

After my last broke up...

it's a hard one...

and i tell myself not to fall for any girls le...

But this year...

When i saw this girl....

I got an unique feeling...

She seems to be so special to me....

Sadly, till today... i still dont know what to do exactly...

[]

Escape or to stay put?

Escape, my heart breaks....

I hate people around me to leave....

but will any one feel the same as me, if i'm leaving?

I think nobody will care also....

I'm just a lonely man in this world....

[]

Stay put, i dont know what to do...

i like you, yes i know....

but when i know i cant have you...

i'm lost... in the 'woods'...

i wonder what's my next step is...?

[]

I loving you one-sided...

but do you care?

do you know?

I bet on my life, that you dont know....

You say my status all so emo de....

yes i admit!

but it's really how i feel....

[]

There are times you really make me very happy!

There are times which you also make me damn sad/emo....

ups and downs.....

so %#^$ $#%#@.........~!

[]

For three years, i did not get angry...

doesn't mean everything is fine...

i'm just pushing it down to the bottom of my heart...

tolerating every shit!

If i blows up this year... it will be history!

[]

I dont wish for much now...

All i want is,

you to be happy,

safe and sound,

healthy!!!

You will be my only close friend/ supersister!!!

No matter where i am...

Hell...or...heaven

[]

!Smile~always!

2010-06-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

This story is about how two friends become "Best friends forever" .

It consists of one male and one female.

Author: Ken Lew.

[][][][]

In this world there are two kind of people.

There are friendly and unfriendly people in this world.

Friendly people will obviously have more friends then those unfriendly people.

As we say " to have one more friend is better than to have one more enemy!"

So why not make more friends!

There was this guy name "Tim*". He was a very friendly person.

And he came to met this girl on "facebook" named "Kim".

At first they were strangers, but after a few chat on "facebook",

they exchange their handphone numbers to know more about each other.

From that night on, they both started their conversation.

And it drags for days, then for months.

Even though it was just sms-ing, jokes, fun and laughter could be found in it.

When Kim was sick, Tim got worried.

List of questions came to Tim mind,

and Tim have the urge instantly to rush to Kim and bring her to the clinic.

Even Kim said that she would be fine, Tim still was very worried.

Reminders to consume medicines and rest well was repeated once after another sms.

It same goes to Kim when Tim fell ill!

Both parties were so caring and concern for one another.

The conversation continues,

with Goodmornings and Goodnights.

Through sms, both of them were enjoying chatting with each other,

making one another laugh or smile.

"bullying" one another through sms, joking, and playing!

All this makes their conversation interesting and unstoppable.

Then one day, Tim said out his feelings towards Kim.

" I think i like you, Kim" said Tim.

" I dont know what to say, Tim" replied Kim.

That day, Tim then get to know that Kim does not have a bf before.

And the conversation ends, as it too late, and Kim fell a sleep.

But the next day, Tim apologize to Kim.

As Tim thought he might had frighten Kim.

Surprisingly, Tim was wrong.

Kim was not angry at all!

Tim ask for stead, but Kim just said " i dont know"

Tim was a little disappointed but he understands how Kim feels, and respect her.

Tim said he will wait for Kim and he meant his words.

And they become close friends!

Tim never give up and tired a few more times.

The holidays were getting closer, and Tim sense that they will dirft apart during the holidays.

It's what Tim hates the most.

Drifting away from one close friends, was a heartbreaking issue to him.

Sweet talks came into their conversations after that.

But this only continues for a few days...

Tim's nightmare begins when the holidays start.

Kim phone was confiscated by her mother because of her results.

And both their conversation stop!

All their plans to go out, study together was gone.

Tim went down, he was very sad when he heard the news.

The only way the two could still keep in touch was "facebook".

Leaving messages for one another each day,

and Tim was camping in front of the computer waiting for Kim to get online.

But got disappointed all the time.

Tim wish and hopes miracles could come by, each day.

Tim no longer smile.

No longer have "hahas" in any conversation.

cancel off all his schedules to wait at home for Kim!

Sleeping late at night, waking up early in the morning.

Missing Kim so much and to the point that makes Tim drop his first tears.

Kim doesn't kow any thing, even she call Tim not to wait, but Tim still waited for her!

Tim is taking it as a test given to him by Kim, and he accept it.\

Hoping everything would gets better and could see a smile on Tim again...

[][][][]

To be continue...

[][][][]

*Tim and Kim was just a replacement name for this real story.*

2010-06-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

It's the holiday now!

but i'm living my everyday life sadly...

[]

We are close friends,

We chat happily everyday...

with jokes and laughters...

but then your phone got confiscated by your mum...

and i was very sad at that moment of time....

no ones know how exactly i feel...

as i really dont know how to express my feelings ar...

I only know i'm very sad...

everyday very moody....

starring at the phone hoping it sound but was disappointed...

going online as often as i could...

so to get a chance to chat with you...

but failed everytime...

asking myself why am i such a fool....

indeed am a failure...

I was happy to recieved msg on facebook from you...

but your words, dont know why, makes my imagination run wild each time...

and when you call me "dont wait",...

my heart breaks...

my mind went blank....

and then many whys appear...

Even you call me not to wait,

but i will still wait...

i seriously like you... but i dont know what you think of me..

no guts to ask...

but never mind...

close friends should be better ba...

i really wish..... ... .... ...

but you're not ready... maybe you still dont trust me ba... or dont know me well yet...

so now.... ya...

now i'm going with the flow and see how...

(by your orders!)

Today, you've got back your phone!

i'm so happy!

can chat with you again..

even though it's just for a day... i'm still happy!

now i'm wondering how you look with your new hair style....

haiis...

hope my path will goes on smoothly and hope everythings turns out well!

[]

My mid year results was disappointing...

sorry!

Gonna use this holidays to catch up my school work...

cancel schedule because of it and partly because of her too...

study study study...

English, math, science, combined humanities failed!

Ice cream...

Chinese 'o' level just pass....

but i got no confident that i will do well!

Praying real hard to get at least a B ....

Having school during the holidays was tiring....

dotn know why i got the 'study' feeling during the holidays...

why it dont come before the exams...???

is it because i know you to late...

so the motivation came late???

thoughts running wild again...

haiis....

thought that i'll have the chance to go out and study with you...

but now i see...

i got no chance...

very sad....

I've promise you that i will do well in my studies!

i swear i will!

Pinky promise!

[]

Love ya!!!

~i miss you~

~i need you~ ~i like you~

..................

All on you.

2010-05-23T23:08:00.000-07:00

It's been exactly two weeks from the day i get to know you.

Chatting with you everyday.

Smiling everyday.

I've never been so happy before le.

Thanks to you.

Really enjoy chatting with you.

Fun, joy and laughter!

You are that cute, that there is no reason for me to say you are not.

[]

I was courageous enough to tell you ...

then i feel bad, and i'm afraid you would ignore me...

you told me you are not ready and you will disappoint me..

but all i need is you.

I knew the results... but i still ask...

i admit i was sad when you reply...

but there's nothing much i can do..

the holidays are coming...

i dont know whether do i still stand a chance to continue chatting with you...

i'm sad...

your replies : i dont know...

makes me wonder what my next step..

you are going to sota!

and..

i really dont know how...

the most failure thing in me is that i do not know how to express my feelings!

deep down my heart i'm feeling sad,

but outside of me is carrying a happy face...

i felt so f***

sorry, really very sorry...

am seroiusly down...

[]

( as i type i get more and more sad )

[]

end of just like this...

heart cracking sounds could be heard....

many things to say

2010-04-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

For such a long time never blog le.

today gonna spill everything out!

just too many things happen and i cannot take it anymore!

[]

ok start from relationship ba

i will write a few people like thuy, joanne, shermaine...:

Breaking up with thuy was that heartbreaking!

When times i needed her so much, she left me!

I was having a severe headache that time and admit into the hospital, for goodness sake.

I didn't wanted to tell her as i'm afraid she will be worried, so i just keep quiet.

But, to my horror, it all become nightmares.

She thought that i neglected her and dont love her anymore...

but deeep down my heart i seriously love her!

One year plus realtionship and just gone like this.

which person wont sad wont heartbreak?

i was so sad that moment in time!

Till today i still dont know what's the real reason why she broke up with me.

I was at wrong too, wrong at not telling her the truth!

I'm the man and i should hold the responsibility!

Now, i miss her everyday!

no one can understand how i feel or what i'm thinking...

i'm always wearing a mask in front of people.

Truely speaking, my heart was like stabbed by a thousand of knifes!

I dont know how to describe the pain... but i know it's the first time i have this feeling.

Now you found another guy, so fast, and my heart sank deeper.

Asking myself, dont you feel sad like me?

why, why, why?

there is so many question in me that i want ask you but i jsut dont dare.

you call me not to wait but i still insist to wait for you!

because i know what my heart wants,

i know who i love, i know who i need!

Sometimes your words are hurtful and i just forget about it...

but with the pain still there...

there are times when you make me feel so delighted!

making me feels like as though you are beside me.

You seems so warm and cute. o my... this is how i'm describing you.

Eventually,

happy moment become my memories and sad times drains off into the dark hole!

Lastly i want to say, no matter what you are still my sister, and i love you!

Joanne, a new sec one girl i know!

I was viewing nicole's profile, added her sister, view her sister's profile

and saw her, and then added her!!!

Sounds so wrong right, as if i was stalking her.

But i'm not.... she just live at the condo next to mine block!

so cool so coincidence! WOah!

Sadly, i only got chance to talk to her on msn or sms...

we chat for like a week or more and our conversation went dead...

then suddenly i had a feeling...

stupid feeling...

I miss her!!!

o my god... i was saying to myself, what was happening to me...

i dont know what really am i thinking...

When i saw her in school or received her sms...

my souls were like jumping for joy!

I ask myself why do i get so happy?

O then i realised, i think i had fallen for her or simple, i like her...

And i was like looking at my phone everyday..

or even every min when i'm chatting with her.

when she never reply me, i start to panic, worry...

shit...! why am i thinking..

she is jsut a friend to me! o god....

stupid things run through my mind....

but i've let all this feeling out into somewhere...

somedays i was like

hoping that she sms me or thinking of how to start a conversation with her...

i tried a few times and it was just short chats.

Even it's just that short i still felt so happy!

Days gone by without talking to her...

slowly i felt that i'm drifting away from her!

I never talk to her in person before and we dont really know each other well...

And i made up my mind, and just treat her like a younger sister of mine.

i realised then i had a crush on her, but luckily i didn't tell her.

And most probably she does not know .

Thought that i found a new door like thuy...

but sadly i dont...

and now i dont wish to had a new door even...

Now i just close my eyes and crave joanne in my heart,

telling myself she will be a friend that i will never forget.

I wish our friendship would last till the day i die!

Shermaine lim, dont know why i pull you in also...

Telling the truth, i'm happy when you are around,

You make me felt like i'm a close person to you...

you make me feel so warm...

i cannot describe the feeling...

it's so... i really dont know how to say...

You are like the type of girl i wish to have!

You care for me, always telling me to smile, asking me to do revision,

reminding of 'o' level, call me to talk more, dont be so moody,w e share secrets!

And really! i tell you, when i see you, i smile automatically!

You never show attitude to me and i felt touch!

dont know why also...

i felt really touch with all your actions.

And i have taken you as my motivation to study!

Thanks BellBell!

You really indeed makes me smile and roam into you!

If i had know you earlier, i would have woo you!

Now, we are best friends till forever!

I will always remember your: Love ya!*(:

I love you, as a friend!

[]

My studies:

Everything was like come to an end!

huh!

I went to school... sleep almost every lessons... until every teacher complain.

hardcore sleeper in class...

cool nickname!

class was serious am boring compared to last year!

there is no more jokes, no more fights, nothing...

at the start of the year i was so scared of going to school!

then i came to knew joanne...

as i say .... i force myself to wake up in the morning to get to school, so i can see her.

sound so stupid, i know!

but go to school i still never study...

went home do an hour of revision and i start to find reasonsfor myself to stop doing

i get lazier and lazier...

then bell bell motivated me!

i was happy, and my mood came back!

nowsaday, i dont really sleep in class anymore, i at home i do revision!

everyday i will sms bell to do revision! (:

but still i'm not enjoying my last year in beatty!

[]

Work:

never work few three weeks le....

this week gonna be the fourth!

miss all my 'sisters'!

Now Jessa left le... so sad...

one thing i dislike the most is saying goodbye!

i dont like to say goodbye and the feeling sucks!

It's so sad to see a freind of yours leaving you!

o my god.. i always cry when friends leave me!

haiis.. but this is life!

We make new friends and we say goodbye to friends!

so i just need to look on the bright side and think positively!

[]

I think i say alot le...

gonna end here and i reopen my blog!(:

Woots*