For such a long time never blog le.
today gonna spill everything out!
just too many things happen and i cannot take it anymore!
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ok start from relationship ba
i will write a few people like thuy, joanne, shermaine...:
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Breaking up with thuy was that heartbreaking!
When times i needed her so much, she left me!
I was having a severe headache that time and admit into the hospital, for goodness sake.
I didn't wanted to tell her as i'm afraid she will be worried, so i just keep quiet.
But, to my horror, it all become nightmares.
She thought that i neglected her and dont love her anymore...
but deeep down my heart i seriously love her!
One year plus realtionship and just gone like this.
which person wont sad wont heartbreak?
i was so sad that moment in time!
Till today i still dont know what's the real reason why she broke up with me.
I was at wrong too, wrong at not telling her the truth!
I'm the man and i should hold the responsibility!
Now, i miss her everyday!
no one can understand how i feel or what i'm thinking...
i'm always wearing a mask in front of people.
Truely speaking, my heart was like stabbed by a thousand of knifes!
I dont know how to describe the pain... but i know it's the first time i have this feeling.
Now you found another guy, so fast, and my heart sank deeper.
Asking myself, dont you feel sad like me?
why, why, why?
there is so many question in me that i want ask you but i jsut dont dare.
you call me not to wait but i still insist to wait for you!
because i know what my heart wants,
i know who i love, i know who i need!
Sometimes your words are hurtful and i just forget about it...
but with the pain still there...
there are times when you make me feel so delighted!
making me feels like as though you are beside me.
You seems so warm and cute. o my... this is how i'm describing you.
Eventually,
happy moment become my memories and sad times drains off into the dark hole!
Lastly i want to say, no matter what you are still my sister, and i love you!
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Joanne, a new sec one girl i know!
I was viewing nicole's profile, added her sister, view her sister's profile
and saw her, and then added her!!!
Sounds so wrong right, as if i was stalking her.
But i'm not.... she just live at the condo next to mine block!
so cool so coincidence! WOah!
Sadly, i only got chance to talk to her on msn or sms...
we chat for like a week or more and our conversation went dead...
then suddenly i had a feeling...
stupid feeling...
I miss her!!!
o my god... i was saying to myself, what was happening to me...
i dont know what really am i thinking...
When i saw her in school or received her sms...
my souls were like jumping for joy!
I ask myself why do i get so happy?
O then i realised, i think i had fallen for her or simple, i like her...
And i was like looking at my phone everyday..
or even every min when i'm chatting with her.
when she never reply me, i start to panic, worry...
shit...! why am i thinking..
she is jsut a friend to me! o god....
stupid things run through my mind....
but i've let all this feeling out into somewhere...
somedays i was like
hoping that she sms me or thinking of how to start a conversation with her...
i tried a few times and it was just short chats.
Even it's just that short i still felt so happy!
Days gone by without talking to her...
slowly i felt that i'm drifting away from her!
I never talk to her in person before and we dont really know each other well...
And i made up my mind, and just treat her like a younger sister of mine.
i realised then i had a crush on her, but luckily i didn't tell her.
And most probably she does not know .
Thought that i found a new door like thuy...
but sadly i dont...
and now i dont wish to had a new door even...
Now i just close my eyes and crave joanne in my heart,
telling myself she will be a friend that i will never forget.
I wish our friendship would last till the day i die!
~
Shermaine lim, dont know why i pull you in also...
Telling the truth, i'm happy when you are around,
You make me felt like i'm a close person to you...
you make me feel so warm...
i cannot describe the feeling...
it's so... i really dont know how to say...
You are like the type of girl i wish to have!
You care for me, always telling me to smile, asking me to do revision,
reminding of 'o' level, call me to talk more, dont be so moody,w e share secrets!
And really! i tell you, when i see you, i smile automatically!
You never show attitude to me and i felt touch!
dont know why also...
i felt really touch with all your actions.
And i have taken you as my motivation to study!
Thanks BellBell!
You really indeed makes me smile and roam into you!
If i had know you earlier, i would have woo you!
Now, we are best friends till forever!
I will always remember your: Love ya!*(:
I love you, as a friend!
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My studies:
Everything was like come to an end!
huh!
I went to school... sleep almost every lessons... until every teacher complain.
hardcore sleeper in class...
cool nickname!
class was serious am boring compared to last year!
there is no more jokes, no more fights, nothing...
at the start of the year i was so scared of going to school!
then i came to knew joanne...
as i say .... i force myself to wake up in the morning to get to school, so i can see her.
sound so stupid, i know!
but go to school i still never study...
went home do an hour of revision and i start to find reasonsfor myself to stop doing
i get lazier and lazier...
then bell bell motivated me!
i was happy, and my mood came back!
nowsaday, i dont really sleep in class anymore, i at home i do revision!
everyday i will sms bell to do revision! (:
but still i'm not enjoying my last year in beatty!
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Work:
never work few three weeks le....
this week gonna be the fourth!
miss all my 'sisters'!
Now Jessa left le... so sad...
one thing i dislike the most is saying goodbye!
i dont like to say goodbye and the feeling sucks!
It's so sad to see a freind of yours leaving you!
o my god.. i always cry when friends leave me!
haiis.. but this is life!
We make new friends and we say goodbye to friends!
so i just need to look on the bright side and think positively!
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I think i say alot le...
gonna end here and i reopen my blog!(:
Woots*